it's elmo-licious!

It's J2 year and it's the prelims.

So what the hell am i doing here?

Clawing back to the past. thinking about the past. missing the past.

All the good times. the stabilty. the friends. (not that i dont have any..  i do and  i love them all(: )

But i miss being in a clique. i miss The Fatties): i miss you- corinne, mel, jas, yvonne, darrie and bernie. even though all of  you except jas are in the same school as me.. and i see you guys occasionally... the truth is i think i've grown out of frequency with you guys. and it sucks. it really sucks. i really wish i didnt. i really wish all of us were back again in sjc. doing retarded things. making a whole lot of noise. laughing until we cry. hitting and smacking each other... imagine seeing all of you in school now and realising that we dont really have much to say anymore. )': it's a heartbreak yknow guys? )': i really really miss those times.

Last year wasn't that bad. we were still together. we were one. I felt so out of place in my class (20 GUYS vs 5 GIRLS omg) but you guys were always there. you guys made life in cj worthwhile then(: everything was new and exciting. THERE WERE GUYS HAHA. and there was always something to talk about. haha! j1 year was indeed a year of huge change. it took me 6 months to finally feel right in my class.6 months. everything was kind of perfect after those 6 months. i had you guys and i had my class(:

But this year things have changed. What happen? We stopped meeting in the mornings and going back home together after school. (i must say this is also my fault :/ stupid me. it was always studies studies studies...) We stopped sharing exciting gossips together, cracking jokes and being retarded together. we got pulled away by our other friends and by our class.

And then all of this happened. the awkwardness. the different frequencies. the nervousness. the sadness. i've lost you guys. did you know that i really felt nervous and out of place when we went out for corinne's and bernie's birthday? )': yeah it may seem that i was okay and in-tune with you guys but i was not. Im not okay! And tomorrow we're going out again to celebrate darrie's birthday. not that i dont want to, dont get me wrong. but once again, im nervous. nervous?! like wth? why am i feeling this way???? this is not how 'close friends' are suppose to feel. ):

What's more, i realise that while im friends with almost all of my classmates, i do feel lonely and lost at times. There's no real clique. I have the girls((: 4 of us(: but to be honest, because we were just us 4, we were kind of 'forced' to be together. not that i dont regret us being together! but to be real, we are all kind of different in the first place. And therefore easily 'splitable'. Hence, we were split back into our twos... Yet, two can get kind of lonely sometimes): especially when we're both kind of different too. :/ And though i could get along with some of the guys in my class my friend cant. And so no clique could form. (Yeah i get it okay? you cant just MAKE a clique happen. It's a natural process.) And so... Yes, i am clique-less. and lonely.

I'm afraid that i will be perceived as clingy. Trust me, i dont want to seem that way to you. i'm not!! But can you forgive me if i do? Can my excuse of not wanting to lose you but be in-sync with you, of not wanting to be alone, deter you of thinking otherwise?

I miss you guys. I miss 'US' back then. And the worst part is, it's not that we dont see each other anymore. We do and that hurts even more.

Will any of you ever read this? And if you do, what will you think of me now? Will you understand?? Will we ever go back to the way things were before?

sigh.

I finished watching BOYS OVER FLOWERS yesterday night. ahhh. why muz it end so soon??! But, well, even though i thought the ending was kinda short, i thought it was really sweet especially the part when F4 and jandi stood together and watched the sunrise. that was soooo nice. :) hahah.


oh gosh, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh i love BOF! it's lyk one of my favourite korean dramas of all time! (the other one is Coffee Prince) THANKS YVONNE, again! hahaahha. without you, i wouldnt have met KIM HYUN JOONG AND KIM BUM!! (: KYAA~! oh and lee min ho too. haha okay i agree he's quite cute lah, but not as hot as those two!! WOHOHO.

Btw, i heard that there is another BOF 2 coming out, izzit? read it online. they said that it will be coming out next year. but yvonne said that there may not coz there is no hana yori dango 2 (the manga)... )': ah well, let's all hope there is!

Okay, before i depart from my notebook as i embark on my journey towards the dining table for breakfast, i will leave these two DAMN HOT pics for you to admire at.

Apparently, this guy called Pascal Cotte, the engineer and founder of Lumiere Technology, used multispectral digitalisation to help uncover the true colours of the Mona Lisa. (Gosh, technology these days....)

Oh and did you know that there are mysteries behind the Mona Lisa painting? Hoho. but im not telling. you should go see the exhibition if u wanna find out. OH OH. and you know what, the Mona Lisa was actually damaged quite a few times over the past centuries. there was actually this one time when a mad man threw a stone and it hit Mona Lisa's left arm! lyk wth? wad's his problem.. maybe he was angry that Leonardo didnt paint him instead...

Oh, and there were also other copies of some of his famous paintings too such as 'The Last Supper' and 'Virgin on the Rocks'. They are really marvelous to look at. Moreover, there were several documentaries that people could watch to learn more about Leonardo and some of his works.

Okay i really enjoyed myself at the exhibition today. :) THANKS MUM, THANKS DAD! wooohooo. it's really really cool. (well for me) you should go with your family, it's cheaper! Tickets at $15 for adults and $10 for children until 16 years old. Family package is $45 (2 adults + 2 child).

(:
GO AND SEE IT OKAY.

woahhs. look at that. it has been wad?! 3 months!? since i wrote my last entry. hahahaha. awesome. told you i have been super busy. well, and lazy too. haha. (but anyways, who really cares right?) you know sometimes i still wonder why i still have this blog..

okay, for those of you who are DYING to know wad i've been up to...


... juz come up and ask me then.

lols. i bet you thought i was gonna write down all about my boring recent life FOR YOU right?
MUAHAHHA. well you were wrong!!!


woooohoolalallalfalhohohhomuahidpelphiick!~

sigh. it's been a sickly week for me. apart from my never-ending tons of homework that just keeps on finding themselves on my desk.
yes, i've not blog for AGES. what can i say? im not an avid blogger.
but anyways, who even wants to know about boring old clare's life?

...

yeah, that's what i thought. hah.

sigh. here's what i've been up to these days:
1. I cut my hair. SHORT.
2. Mavis doubled my chinese tuition homework. :P
3. Painted toenails red, pink, light purple & peach. (was experimenting)
4. Hair started poofing. & curling.
5. Was dying on Monday- had stomach flu, fever, body ache & sore throat.
6. Hair continued poofing & curling.
7. I ate bread with cheese.
8. My mood complemented with my hair.
9. Started watching a korean drama- Winter Sonata.
10. Blew my cough germs into my flute. (dun wry, im gonna clean it.)
11. Was dreaming that SJC band was about to perform for SYF.
12. Had exchange with a few bands @ HIHS today.


Kay, thats about a summary of it. Lyk anyone needed to know that.

blah. that's how i feel today. in fact that's how i've been feeling for the past few days. Maybe it's my hair. or that cheese bread.

To Be With You by David Archuleta



I've been alone so many nights now,
And I've been waitin' for the stars to fall.
I keep holdin' out for what I don't know
To be with you, just to be with you.

So here I am staring at the moon tonight,
Wondering how you look in this light.
Maybe you're somewhere thinkin' about me too.
To be with you, there's nothing I wouldn't do.

And I can't imagine two worlds spinnin' apart
Come together eventually.

And when we finally meet, I'll know it's right.
I'll be at the end of my restless road.
But this journey, it was worth the fight.
To be with you, just to be...

Holding you for the very first time, never letting go.
What I wouldn't give to feel that way... Ooohh...

Oh, to be with you...

Oh, and I can't imagine two worlds spinnin' apart
Come together eventually.

And when you're standin' here in front of me,
That's when I know that God does exist.
'Cause He will have answered every single prayer.
To be with you, just to be with you, yeah.

You....
 

ALLELHUIA!
this week's test are over!!! muahahha. goodbye history, geog, social studies and amaths tests!

oh,
and say hello to physics, chem and english tests. (next week)

ah well who cares. im gonna take a break today. okay and maybe do some catching up with my homework. but still at least i dun have to cram my brain with notes and formulas until really late at night. OH HOHO.  im gonna have my well rested beauty sleep tonight. and no one's gonna stop me! muahahhahahaah.

went out with sarah and corinne today. had a lunch-ner / din-ch ( lunch and dinner, get it?! haha.) at lyk 4+pm after our amaths test. it was my first time eating at pepper lunch. haha. i was kinda afraid that i would fumble with my food coz i wasnt sure how to eat it properly. lol. ordered that chicken student meal. was too much for me so i didnt finish it. :/

anyways, it was cool meeting some of sarah's friends. hehe. :)

kays, im off to enjoy my next few hours of relaxation.... for today..... now.... this very thursday evening..... only..



gosh how did my life turn out to be lyk this.

okay, geez, i noe this is SUPER late, but here are some of the pictures which i took at the party. (with my new camera!! yayness! <3 ya dad!) it was really fun:) it felt great to have the ppl whom i love around me! (too bad jasmin could not come T.T, and some others too....)

THANKS YOU GUYS AGAIN FOR COMING. it was great. OMG I LOVE MY MUM & MY COUSINS & MY WHOLE FAMILY & FRIENDS. :D
i feel so blessed to have u all!




von, elysia, meli, bernie, me, sarah & corinne ;)


home-baked chocolate cake; custom decorated by friends & cousins
mmm. doesnt it look..... delicious? hahaha. juz kidding. i couldnt have asked for a better cake. :)


my birthday present from my cousins! (dang it, stupid flash) OMG it's SO HUGE! I LOVE IT! :D it was so unexpected! was really touched that day.

COUSINS! :)))
carl, chrispian, tarcia, francis (behind), angie, luke (lame face behind the window), lucien, joseph, me, colette & genie!
I LOVE YOU GUYS! <3

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, MY FAMILY:)
(wads that lameo brothers of mine doing?!)
I LOVE YOU GUYS! YOU'RE THE BEST! muacks.


okay, actually there are somemore photos but im juz too lazy to upload them.. heh.. im lyk uploading the pics one by one!!!? (oh gracious and humble fellow lj users, is there a faster way to upload many photos at one go??!    ...                               YVONNE!...     )

my oh my, it's 11.35pm!!
ahhhhh.

As the girl glanced at her peers and her chatty friends in the classroom, she suddenly felt out of place. it seems different now. her once-so-bubbly self seemed to be fading away. 'was that even possible?' she pondered. she used to be that girl - friendly, confident, witty. but now, however, she became this girl - quiet, nonchalent.......... boring. whenever her friends included her in the usual girl talks, she mostly said nothing. not that she didnt want to express herself in whatever they were conversing about, it was just that nothing came to her mind. it was blank. it was as if her mind didnt belong here anymore, in this world. it had softly slipped away without being noticed. she became frantic. was she losing her mind??! 'no, stop overeacting...' she said as she shooked her head to convince herself.

'Stella? are u alright?'
 
 

hmmm,
i am thinking that maybe i'll start writing random short little stories on my blog for fun or whenever i feel lyk writing one, wadeva that comes naturally. well, maybe this might also improve my english compositions. :)

so anyways, if you ever come across one of my blog entries that doesnt make sense at all, then juz take it that u ARE reading one of my random short little stories. :D

alrighty then,
toodles.

'ijuzwannasleep.'